You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
