I cockslap morals
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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