about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
