just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
