Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
