Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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