I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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