Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
two words...techno handjob
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
