You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
