Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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