All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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