I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
