i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
