From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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