Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
