And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
