he puts the penis in happiness.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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