hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
