You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
