We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
