Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
i believe in u and ur pee
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
