I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
