I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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