in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
