She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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