Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
