I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
