OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I faked an abortion last night.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Let's paint friendship bongs
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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