Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
