just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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