Can i not drive my cunt home
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
