his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
