Sry I called you an 8
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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