So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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