He uses pillows to masturbate.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
