I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
