guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
