Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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