They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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