My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
