I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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