I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
