didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Randomize
