i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
