idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
