Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
