i think my mom watched the whole time
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
