i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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