I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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