how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
