I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
