Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
